Thursday, November 1, 2007

The dichotomy of me

Today has been one of those 'inspired' days, that come very few and far between. I have a number of projects that I suddenly get inspired to do work on - and I go off and running with them.

Something I've come to know about myself with this, however, is that I often stop myself from completing the project long before I can even start it.

Why? Because I get conflicted with what I want to say, and how I think my friends and family will take it.

This is where I get vulnerable, and am more likely to abandon the project, then actually do anything with it.

Perfect example is the area of Women's Health and Sexuality.

Anyone who has had ANYTHING to do with the Christian Church, knows this is a sadly underdiscussed topic. For whatever reason, sex would be one of the VERY last things a Church would discuss, more often than not.

Now, with my career and interaction with young women (married and unmarried) - I see this as a great big gaping hole in Church, and somewhere where I believe I have the knowledge and enthusiasm to be able to do something about it.

Yet something always stops me. Fear. Fear that even though my friends love me and support me and encourage me - if I open up and lead a discussion/small group session on sex, noone will take anything from it, and that the topic will be embarrassingly left alone and relegated to the 'too hard' basket.

And I'm in that place again. I've been given the opportunity to speak to people about running a 'girls only' event where sexuality, sexual intimacy and sexual health can be talked about in a safe, secure, fun environment - yet I'm so 'arg' about it, I don't even know if I can get it off the ground.

I want to do it, I think it is desperately needed, yet I sit here frozen.

So if anyone out there reading my blog would like to give me some encouragement, advice, or real-life stories on how they did this AND SUCCEEDED - you have just become my new best friend.

I am 'lesson planning' this all through the next week, and will be discussing it with the small groups leader on Friday (who all ready sounds keen for it), so if you could keep me in the back of your head and offer encouragement and prayers, I'd really appreciate it.

This is really stepping out into something I've wanted to do for a long time, but is very new territory for the young women I socialise with. I will keep blogging with updates as to how this goes.

2 comments:

Jeni Robinson said...

Hey Gorgeous,
If God wants you to do it then He's already given you the ability - just tap into Him and don't worry about what you think you can do, 'cause it's really going to be Him doing it through you when you know it's come from Him in the first place!!! Sorry, sounds very heavy but just want to encourage you with what you believe God has given to you. Remember what He wrote in Song of Songs - that's very sensual and comes from God in the first place so He does want sexuality to be great and fulfilling and talked about in the right way - take heart, He's with you and will give you the words and the ability and the people who need to hear and discuss it. Love you .. Your Mum xxx (Don't stress, just talk to Him about it!)

Therese said...

How'd it all go Sasch??
Was thinking of and praying for you sweetness!!